March 2, 2017
I just tried to take a nap after I got home from work but, we know how that usually goes. I was harassed quite a bit by the physical sensations. I kept feeling slight pokes and pinches coming up through the mattress. It’s not painful or anything but, it’s still disturbing and a pain in the ass to deal with when you’re trying to rest. “They” were yapping away the whole time but I’ve already forgotten about what. I try not to tune into what they are saying if I can help it. It’s simply never anything worth listening to. Well, it’s March now, it’s exactly two years since I began hearing these voices with just my ears. I remember that it was towards the end of February and early March, 2015 that I first began to have incidents of hearing these voices outside of my EVP recordings. It’s been two years and they still hang around me. They are in essence, attached to my life. But, I made it through some pretty bad times and I know that I am much better at dealing with the situation now than I was back in 2015.
Sometimes though, I’m still struck with a sense of disbelief about how much these entities talk all of the time. It’s no exaggeration to say that they never shut up. I know that they use voices as a means of harassment but, they take it to such and extreme and absurd level that it’s simply difficult to wrap your head around. In my own case, once I started hearing them outside of the recordings, it wasn’t long before I was hearing them constantly. I hear their voices but I also frequently hear this high-pitched ringing in my ears. Sometimes this ringing will stop for a while, but recently I’ve been experiencing it again quite frequently.
Sometimes, it sounds like there’s only a few voices hanging around me. Other times it seems like there are many. Sometimes, it’s almost like I’m surrounded by a room full of people and I can hear them talking to varying degrees. Sometimes, I’ll hear them fairly clearly. Other times, their voices sound a bit muffled or fainter but I can still detect them (only I wish that I couldn’t).
Clairaudience (if that is what this is) is not always some kind of special gift. Sometimes it’s more like a damn curse. Sometimes, it can really send you down the rabbit hole. When I read about people wanting to develop this ability intentionally, I just scratch my head in amazement. I guess perhaps when it works out well they call it a gift. When it goes bad, they call it schizophrenia. All I know is that I could certainly do without it. I’d love to wipe the past two years from my memory like it never happened. Perhaps someday I’ll be completely free of the voices. I still have hope and that’s a good thing.