March 5, 2017
Today was my day off from work, but I still had to go to work in a sense. There were some work-related things that I needed to take care of but never got around to this week. Often, I find it can be difficult to get out of the office. On any given day, I may plan to go out to a jobsite for whatever reason and just never make it out of the door because some bullshit always tends to pop up.
This week, there was bullshit a plenty at the office, so I never got the chance to get out and take care of a few things at various jobsites that I really needed to take care of. So, rather than let the stuff pile up, sometimes you just have to take it on the chin. So, even though it was my day off, I spent most of the afternoon running around on these work-related errands.
I drove down to Avalon, to a few jobsites at the shore. It was a nice drive. It was a sunny day and usually I find that the shore area just has this brightness about it. I enjoy heading over to the beach towns, though in the summer the traffic can sometimes make it not worth the hassle. But, it’s still early March and it was quite cold out today so the shore towns were still pretty much deserted.
The voices didn’t bother me that much today. I find it’s good to get out of my home and do things outdoors because this helps me to take my focus off of “them” and their presence. They were still around of course. I heard the voices a few times during my drive when I turned on the heating in my car. Whenever I do this, the voices always come over strong through the noise. This has always been the case. As I have mentioned many times in my writing here, that I hear these voices the loudest when there’s a steady background noise in my immediate environment.
Well, I’ve adapted to this to a large degree you could say. Now I can be around many different kinds of background noises and not hear the voices as strongly as I once did. Back in 2015, any time that I was near anything like a fan, or running water or the motor of a running car engine, etc…anything that made a steady sound, continuous voices would be emerging from the noise. Now, it’s not nearly as bad as it was back then, though I still do hear the voices the loudest when I do hear them, when they are coming through over a background noise. But, I can be around things like fans now and be fine. If I hear the voices, I’m better able to tune them out now. I don’t find their presence nearly as unsettling as I did back in 2015.
But, whenever I’m in my car and I’m running the heater or the air conditioner, it’s voices galore. It’s the perfect type of steady noise for them to use to amplify and project their voices over and I’m literally stuck right next to the source of the noise. It’s not like I can go into another room or close a door or anything to escape it. It’s right there in front of me while I’m driving in my car.
Yes, on occasion I won’t run the heating or air conditioning because I don’t want to deal with hearing the voices. Other times I’m tired of freezing my ass off in my car when it’s cold and I’ll just deal with hearing them. It’s not like they’re going to say anything new or enlightening. It’s always just the same old crap they are always yapping, just sometimes there’s a new spin to it. All in all though, they weren’t much of a presence throughout the day today. I’ll see how it goes tonight. This is when they still give me the most trouble.