Every morning, I wake up feeling hopeless. I question myself why I have to live another day again. Why Can’t I stay asleep forever?
In order to get rid of the train of thoughts, I go outside for a run. Only while running, I am not a victim of bad thoughts. I am too tired to think anything. I run until I cannot run any longer…
Then all the dark clouds cover over my head again.
I don’t have any reason to be alive.
I don’t have anything to live for.
I would give up everything what I have if I could disappear now.
These are the thoughts that take over me thought a day.
When I go to bed, I am totally exhausted from getting thought a day.
I wish that I could fall asleep soon and stay asleep as long as possible.
I wake up many times during a night. It is so dark and quiet. It scares me so much.
I am awake but I am too afraid of be alive.
I wait until the sun comes out, then I have to suffer another day again.