Guess This Is Goodbye

Visitation for my dad was last night and it went better than I thought it would.  I am just glad it is over.  Don’t like to see my family, friends, and myself so sad.  I was honestly shocked that my dads “father” sent flowers…I honestly didn’t expect anything.  Of course he didn’t show up.  Didn’t expect him to anyways since they got in a fight months ago about who knows what.  Even then I would expect you to go to your own sons funeral but like is a b*tch.  I let my sister have the guest book and the flag that he got since he was in the USMC.  She deserves it more that me.  Went to Hobby Lobby today to get some stuff to scrapbook and sent pic to my sister of all the stuff I got and she wants me to make her one to.  Told her it might be a minute so can do mine first but I am going to do hers first.  My sister is one of the best people and best friends a person could have so I am going to do her stuff first as a surprise and a thank you for everything.  God knows I couldn’t of done it without her…or my aunt Carol.  So it is the least I could do for her.  Please continue keeping myself and my family in your thoughts and prayers.  I don’t want to ask her or my mom how they are doing because want them not to be sad.  As for me I look at my dads pic and shock, heartache, anger, denial, and depression all attack me at once.  I’m sure I will be better in time but still can’t believe he is gone for good…was living in a fantasy world I guess, thinkin that my mom and dad would be here forever and its been shattered…all within a week.  He went in 2/20/17 and a week later on 2/27/17 he is gone.  Never to see, talk to, or text again.  All that remains is a shattered heart, ashes, and pictures.  RIP Dad, I will love and miss you forever.  Hope you are happy and in no pain.

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