Nothing Special

V has never really felt he was special. He was never the best of the best or “the only one who could” whatever. All throughout his youth he was into movies and video games that were focused on a protagonist who was the chosen one, “you’re our only hope,” that kind of stuff. He never felt that way. In fact, he always…well, average. And truthfully, that’s all her ever really wanted: to blend in with the crowd. His comfort zone was in the middle of that bell curve, not amongst the outliers.

I think some of that has to do with his confidence and self-esteem levels. He never wanted to be on the tail end of the curve, for obvious reasons. I mean, nobody ever aspires to be below average, and V is no exception to that. On the other end of things, though, V never really aimed for the top of the curve mainly because he never thought he’d make it. At some point, very early on, he did try to be the best, but he felt like there was always someone better. Someone faster, someone stronger, someone smarter. And it always seemed like those things came naturally to those other kids, so no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t quite match them.

I think his mindset was flawed from the beginning. I bet things like that didn’t come naturally to all the kids. For some, yes, but not all. For instance, there was this one kid, his name was Wilson, and he was fast. Fastest kid in the whole school. Before he started there, his older brother was the fastest one around. Then, Wilson took over the title, which he held until his little brother showed up. They came from a long line of wiry, sprinter types. Clearly, Wilson’s skills on the playground came naturally. All the other things kids were measured up against probably didn’t come naturally though, they couldn’t have. I mean, what’re the odds that V shows up to an otherwise ordinary school with otherwise ordinary kids, and all but one of them are prodigies?

V spent too much time focusing on what other kids could do that he couldn’t and not enough time on what he could do that other kids couldn’t. I had hoped he would grow out of it. Even to this day he still does it, but I’m always there to remind him to change his thinking. And you know what? Sometimes I succeed.

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