i wanted to write an entry last friday. it was march 3rd, the long awaited launch of the nintendo switch! i stayed for UN and gave dias classes to a group of ppl. they didnt respect me and i had a sore throat. i was fine though
emil couldnt assist because of a photography session he had.. when he told me about it it sounded very embarrassing haha!! i love him
its been like three days and the switch has so many problems. i love watching videos about how broken it is. i want to get one before i leave to college though: i hope they already did a hardware revision by july.
on another subject. im feelig really bad emotionally, and unloving. ive yelled at emil so much and made him cry.
i know exactly why that is. its my built up frustration. i tell myself i should just ignore some things he does that put me off, but it just comes back to bite me later. i should tell him that stuff, but i hate sounding like im whining all the time about what he does, and i dont want to give him the wrong idea. he’s beautiful and has a talent not everyone (and certainly not me) has: patience and kindness. and not only outside. hes the only person i know to be this pure at heart.
but sometimes i see him acting way too immaturely. hes sometimes very unorganized and sounds careless. i wish i could tell him without getting upset. everyone has their own problems and defects. and his are barely there. when he grows up i hope he learns to listen and act like an adult *when he has to*.
hes not tidy because of his small room. id be frustrated and just give up if i was him too. hes sometimes forgetful (even though he’s improved a lottt since i started dating him) and thats not his fault. its nobody’s. theres nothing more fustrating than getting called out because of something you forgot.
but if something ive learned about getting yelled at for forgetting things it is that having a todo list is really useful.
ive been really concerned about our future. i want to marry him, and i need him to land a good job. drawing is a skill developed after years upon years of practice. and im not so sure about him being d”videogame designer” lvl right off the bat. i want him to focus on 3d modeling which is a lot more theoreical and its most of what he’ll learn in college. i want him to follow his dream but i want him to work slowly towards it without hurrying. i want to build our nest steadily. id feel really bad about having him sitting at home if he cant find a job. i know he would too. especially since id be the one paying for rent and food an everything.
i wish our careers are successful. i want us to remain healthy.
i want the time when we can be happy together and hug while we sleep to come already.