Tidal wave and i wanted this

song of the day – heart of glass by blondie

i chose this song due to it being the first song coming out of the treatment group meeting, now i can only talk about my side of things.  i say first song, i had to scrape out the tobacco out of earphone section with a pulled apart key ring thing lol.   this is my second attempt, at this treatment group.  been struggling for a while,  spec since last June but i am nothing but  a tryer to get back to work.

I find when i am physically unwell it affects my illness.   it showed today i was a negative mess. i feel so stupid

i asked the question people say that emotionally intense disorder is a diagnosis given when they have no clue. i now have a definite answer back.  there is a diagnostic section. i will no longer feel like i cant give the answer,  “since i got the diagnosis, it makes sense”

i dont know if it was my anxiety, or unable to do eye contact, but it was the sort of thing, i came home and cleaned to make myself better, yes the bathroom needed a clean but i didn’t even switch on the TV.  

so now i have eaten, started to watch my tivo stuff, even cleaned.  i clean when stressed.  so i am gonna sort out the livingroom and get into pjs. dont have to be out of the house for the rest of the day. two hours of law and order SVU, look forward to this all day.  will write soon. need to destress. 

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