I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be loved, unconditionally. Just the sense of knowing that someone would always be there for you, even if you fucked up. The sense of knowing that even on your darkest days, when you see absolutely no light, that someone still wants to be around you, that someone still wants to help. I honestly believe that I could never have that. Even if someone wanted to be there for me, I do not think I could let them. I’m at this point in my life where I am so used to being alone. So used to being judged for all of the small things that I do wrong. I cannot remember the last time that I was praised for something good I had done. I’m at the point where when people compliment me, or are even nice to me–I feel awkward because I truly believe that I do not deserve that. I am not good enough to be complimented. If my family– the people that I grew up with–the people that I live with–are incapable of loving me unconditionally, why should anyone else? I wish that signs of endearment and love didn’t make me feel uncomfortable because honestly, I yearn for that unconditional love, acceptance, and/or appreciation. Help.