Good Enough

That is all I want to be. I know some might read this and think–“well why just ‘good enough’ why not great?” My answer to that is simply, everyone needs to start somewhere. At this point in my life I feel I am nothing. I have felt this way for a couple of years now, but I have just recently decided that I want to try to be good enough–for someone, anyone. I want to be someone who has someone who gives a damn. I have been trying and working on this goal for only about a week now and I have to say–It is quite challenging. It hurts when I see my mom come home and I try to talk to her and she just looks me up and down with a dirty look. My brother does far worse things than I. He is failing all of his classes because he doesn’t try and he gets support and encouragement , but when I leave one sock in the bathroom I get an hour long lecture on how horrible I am. I am a full time student, I have a 3.75 GPA, I work 25 hours on the weekends, I volunteer as often as I can–I genuinely try. I try so hard to be good enough but so far it has gotten me nowhere, but i will not give up. I have made it so far. I have one more year until I am off to college and once I get far away from here, I can start fresh. I can make friends, have fun, and maybe even be good enough. I hope to one day love myself. I hope to one day be good enough.

One thought on “Good Enough”

  1. omg you sound like my oldest daughter, she had same good grades as you, just as intelligent as you sound, her brother, my middle child and only son, he sounds like the same as your brother, he about flunked last year, gets in trouble etc, he lives with his dad mostly because i had to move and didn’t want to make him change schools in high school..anyhow, he gets support etc, and as my daughter says, “babied” and i NEVER meant to make her feel like that, and it broke my heart that she felt that way but as a mother , and a cool mother , I think I’m pretty cool anyway, i’m the most down to earth, understanding and nonjudgmental person on the planet, BUT in my own situation, do you know WHY it was like that for me with MY kids? It’s because I KNOW MY DAUGHTER IS SMART, DOING AWESOME AND HAS A GOOD HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS, I worry more about my son because he is not like that..he has a brain but he doesn’t use it, he could get good grades but he’s lazy and a bit ADHD, I didn’t worry about HER as much BECAUSE I DIDN”T FEEL THAT I NEEDED TO!! SHE IS AWESOME AND SMART GIRL all on her own..sound like you!! Now I do praise her for things she accomplishes, I think that is always important…now i don’t know the exact situation with your mom, BUT i’m sure she’s proud of you, maybe she thinks you know, or maybe she’s struggling with something herself and is trying to work through it..I’ve had some bad things i’ve had to go through to where i ended up feeling like I put my kids on hold and it broke my heart to think i ever made them feel unimportant because they ALWAYS ARE NO MATTER WHAT, but us moms are people too and just because she’s not telling you, she might be dealing with something rough too.. I”M NOT DEFENDING her, because I personally know how you feel when you can’t get a “way to go honey” or “great job sis” or whatever, I don’t get any snaps from my husband NO MATTER WHAT I DO. i could lick our toilets clean spotless and sparkling and he wouldn’t care or say anything positive to me..anyhow, you do the BEST YOU CAN AND BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE becuase in the end, YOU will make the absolute BEST of YOUR life, your mom won’t live your life, YOU WILL and it sound like you have potential to make an awesome life for yourself in the near future..”good enough” is something I say pretty often when I’m cleaning or something, but as smart and cool and you sound, YOU ARE BETTER than good enough and you can accomplish things a hell of alot more than just “good enough”.. don’ t let anyone make you feel like that’s your best, you know better, and i don’ t even know you and I already KNOW BETTER!! You will find such happiness in things that you can’t imagine, only because you haven’t experienced them yet..don’t just scrape by, you are capable of so much more, it will get you MORE and you deserve MORE..write me back or email me at duhjennifer if you want. I’ll be waiting to hear from you!!
    Your friend, Jennifer

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