Tomorrow morning I have to get to school by 7:35 if I want to redo the physics lab before heading to the first NHS meeting of the month.

The lab wasn’t hard, but we attached the wrong resistors to the circuit by accident. I only realized it after my friend JW told me so, and I confirmed it with my physics teacher.

I’ll have to wake up at six ten tomorrow. Joy.

The survey part of the essay is stressing me out. Seriously. I don’t know how I’ll go about it.

Today a fight broke out in the cafeteria a few minutes before the bell rang. I don’t know what happened because I couldn’t see it, but there were people standing on the tables screaming “ohhhh” while the principal and a few teachers rushed in. It was over very quickly. That’s American public school for you–full of excitement.

At least I got done with a lot of things today. Three tests and two quizzes.

I’ve been thinking about getting a Snapchat. It seems fun. About time I started using hip new technology to keep up with the kids, y’know? I’m out of the loop. I should start doing what all the cool kids do. Kidding.

I’m still stressed out. It’s alarming how often I’ve written about wanting to die in my personal journal (the paper one I have). It frightens me. I wish I could go get a diagnosis, but my parents would never let that happen.

Maybe I’ll go to Oklahoma for college. I don’t know. If I become a National Merit Finalist, OU will offer me more than $130,000 for five years of schooling, including housing, tech, textbook and other fees. That’s even better than what TAMU would offer me, even if I graduated in the top ten percent and was automatically admitted. Maybe I’ll go to OU like my sister instead of TAMU like my brother. I don’t know. OU is less nicely ranked than TAMU, and Oklahoma seems to be even more boring than Texas. I don’t know, though. I’m conflicted. If I hate it there, I’ll hate myself for not just accepting TAMU. But then, the best thing would be if I got a great scholarship to somewhere else–somewhere prettier and more liberal. TAMU is very conservative.

But let’s think about closer things right now. Like school. There’s a lot to do. I really like high school–maybe not the social part so much, although it’s completely fine and I’m not getting bullied or anything terrible like that–and I can honestly say that these two years of it will become nice memories in time.

One thought on “open.”

  1. i didnt go to college at least not for any serious length of time. but i did learn some things from friends and family that are graduates. a friend of mine started at St Joseph in Cincinnati which is a very expensive christian university. she wasnt doing well and after 2 1/2 years she left to go to Evansville U in Ky. she finally did receive her teaching degree but because of the switch it cost her an extra $100k. not a good start on a teachers salary. Then there is my cousin who wanted to go to Duke but wasnt accepted so he went to Penn State which was nearby and had a descent engineering program. He definitely saved a boatload of money by not attending Duke but he says that it comes at a cost. He says that while PSU was a good school, Duke would have offered him a social network that would have been worth its weight in gold. The brighter and more successful your classmates become, the more likely they are to bring opportunity your way. What I deciphered from these and most of the other college career stories ive heard is that getting the cheapest education is the best one unless you are capable of affording the absolute most expensive that there is. Everything in the middle probably just isnt worth the extra thousands of dollars. Many people who cant afford a degree from an ivy league do a “stint” somewhere. I think no matter where you go, if you can try to find a summer project or some kind of temporary training at Harvard, Yale, Princeton or Stanford it will go a long way in the connections that you make. I wish you much success.

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