Wednesday March 8th

I’m back at school for the first time this week. This afternoon is sure to be a disaster since I cannot talk very loud. I finally got the nerve to weigh myself. It was bad. 132.4. Ugh I have to stop eating junk. The cookies and candy bars have to stop. I have gained about 8 pounds. I cannot carry weight. I look terrible. I wish I could figure out an eating plan and just do it. I can’t figure out what to eat here. I have to get a system worked out soon.

My first two classes were not that bad- the first one was downright good. I even left them to go to the bathroom. I’m feeling a little guilty about leaving them. Of course I feel guilty- it’s what I do. I feel bad about everything I do or don’t do. I think I should finish the year here, in a way, but I have this job offer now from DOE, and I know that’s where I need to work – what is best for me.

I want to be able to spend time with Noah next week, so I was pretty certain I was quitting here on Friday, but I really don’t know how long I will have to wait to start at DOE, and I  don’t know how much I will be paid there- probably not very much.

Today has been really calm here- much more than usual. I’m sure the shit will hit the fan when my last two classes start. I am debating as to whether or not I should go back to the doctor after school today. I am afraid I have pneumonia. My lungs were already gunked up before I got sick with the asthma, and now I’m sick, so I’m worried about infection. I think I have a little fever, too. My normal temperature is 96.9, so I feel bad when it’s 98, but doctors don’t recognize that as a fever. 

I haven’t heard a word from DOE since I went down there for my I-9 and fingerprints. I need to re-read that email. 

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