Day 10/ Having endless bad days

I woke up feeling horrible.

I was having nightmares.

I don’t know which is worse the reality or staying asleep.

Nothing has changed around me but myself.

There is no cause or reason to trigger the way I feel.

I am how I feel, which is despair…

I usually do what I am supposed to do, but today, I could not bring myself to do anything.

I didn’t want to go out ,eat, or breathes..

I feel anxiety… I feel hopeless for the future…

I am just so scared to know how many days I would have to go through like this.

Waiting for the sun going down.

Waiting for a day I would be finally free from this feeling.

 

One thought on “Day 10/ Having endless bad days”

  1. hi there, i read some of your posts and idk what anyone else has commented to you because I didn’t read them but let me tell you something, I KNOW WHAT IT”S LIKE TO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO, I had a zillion reasons of why i didn’t want to live and hated everything about life…idk how old you are but I’m assuming you are young..i am 41 now and I AM SO GLAD TO BE ALIVE!! Life IS NOT PERFECT, EVER, I still have alot of heart aches and have been through divorce and my ex husband’s son molesting my 5 yr old daughter, I’ve lost several friends to OD, etc, it’s NOT been easy, BUT I also have an amazing daughter who just got home from Army boot camp, and awesome son that’s my only boy so I absolutely adore him, and my youngest is now 9 years old and I’m so glad to have another baby to raise..my oldest 2 are 19 and 16..anyhow, YOUR LIFE WILL GET BETTER..YOU HAVE ALOT OF THINGS AHEAD OF YOU THAT WILL BRING YOU MORE HAPPINESS THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, IN WAYS THAT YOU DON”T EVEN KNOW BECAUSE YOU HAVEN”T EXPERIENCED THEM YET..are you on any medication?? There’s NO shame in asking for help, there’s absolutely NO shame in being on medication to make YOUR LIFE WORTH WHILE TO YOU..and it WILL BE!!! I am on an antidepressant, a medicine in case I can’t sleep and have been on a medication for almost 4 years to help me stay away from opiates, which are basically pain medication and sometimes heroin..i didn’t do heroin but it’s also an opiate.. anyhow, i know that you don’t know me, but i knew as soon as I read your words that I wanted to talk to you…Please don’t consider taking your life..even if I couldn’t help you or change your mind, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD IT HURTS TO LOSE SOMEONE TO SUICIDE?? You will mess up everyone’s life that loves you or cares about you at all because they will all be thinking how they could have helped you or stopped you, or what if..this and what if..that..and why didn’t they do something more or whatever…I have also been on THAT side of the situation also and IT HURTS to the soul, and it never goes away..please write to me, I will be of any help to you I can..i am 41 but I’m also still consider to be somewhat “cool” by my kids and I am the most down to earth, understanding and nonjudgmental person you will ever meet. Idk if we can keep talking on here or not but you can email me at duhjennifer77@gmail.com if you would rather..my name is Jennifer, duh, i guess that’s obvious..I live in Ohio.. please get ahold of me whichever way is easier..if anything we can be somewhat penpals!!! I’ll be waiting to hear from you!! Your friend, Jennifer

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