Figuring myself out

I have forgotten what living in the real world feels like.  Speaking to men outside work, I have no idea how I will behave! 

I used to be promiscuous during my drinking days.  Now I am completely t total and my job is sex work.  

Having sex for free seems bizarre now that I am used to receiving a wad of notes in return.  The thought of having sex is not particularly appealing, I would much prefer a good cuddle. However there is a part of me that is intrigued to know how I perform in bed when I am not getting paid. 

Will it feel like there is a connection? Will it feel the same as when I have sex in work, where I count down the minutes until it’s over. 

I used to feel like I always had to dress up to the nines to get noticed.  Now days I am dressed down in casual clothing, leggings, uggs and warm jumpers.  I don’t mind going unoticed.  I hear over and over how beautiful I am from my clients, I don’t really need any extra attention.

Maybe in the real world I will be content with living a quiet life.  I no longer go out drinking, I no longer act a fool.  But still I feel there is something huge missing from my life.



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