My one of many dreams … In a non intimate marriage

I woke up a few nights ago from a dream. I was in an apartment and some woman was fondling me down below. I tried to see her face but it was blurred by light or something. She proceeded to take my belt a loose. Even deep in my dream, I didn’t want her to stop. I can feel myself squirming in anticipation all the while still trying to see her face. Did, I want to see it because I was hoping it was my wife or did I want to see it because I wanted to see if it was one of the many woman faces I see throughout the day, which one has penetrated the barriers of my subconsciousness to end up here in my rem.

My alarm finally went off awakening me, cutting me off in the midst of ecstasy and turning on a light in my darkest corners.   I looked down to see I was completely aroused. I looked over at my wife who was still fast asleep and thought….maybe?

She took that from me.. the motivation that I came into this marriage with along with my inner security. I just pushed the covers back and awkwardly made my way to the bathroom.  I usually prepare the coffee, let the dog out, and start my breakfast. By this time, she turns the corner with a “Good Morning”. I reply in just.  Sometimes, she would catch me staring at her and say “What?”  I just pause and say…nothing.  When I got to work, I told my co worker about my dream. He laughed and said” doesn’t sound like a bad dream to me”

This past weekend, I had to take my dog to the doctor for a checkup to make sure he was still doing okay. Last October, a lump was found and we had it removed and tested and it was positive for a type of sarcoma. So, I elected to take him back to have the doctor give him a feel over to make sure there wasn’t any lumps that he felt was suspicious. Thank god, he didn’t find anything. On the way home, I was a in a great mood. My best friend checked out good and all was great for the moment.

I started small talk with my wife that veered around to sex. Her responses made me angry. Her non caring attitude almost made me pull over and throw her out. We both fell silent after a bit and I just drove the rest of the way in silence.  I thought about my Man-cave. In about 15mins, I will be descending those steps to my peace. I need to think.

Who was the faceless woman?

How I want so much for her to come back.

 

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