Hey guys, so it’s been a while since I checked in, at least for me anyway. Update on Heart B, I’ve slept with him again, he gets better every time I see him, and I’m seeing him tomorrow. He is still totally different to HeartA, but maybe that’s a good thing? We were watching a film together, and the guy asked the girl to be his girlfriend, and I was thinking I feel like Heart B’s going to ask me soon, and I thought what am I going to say in response if so. I realised that while I don’t want to see anyone else and I really like him, I also don’t want to introduce him to my parents. And that’s not because I’m ashamed but because I know this isn’t going to go anywhere long term, so what does that make us? So today I saw Heart C. So who is Heart C? Heart C I met on a residential trip that we were teaching at. Also where I met Heart A. Now with Heart A we suddenly clicked because we both made an effort to go to Heart C’s birthday and Heart C hadn’t really talked to either of us properly. Heart C was a weird one. He was the first guy that I had ever looked at/ fancied whilst with my ex and at the time I really really fancied Heart C. He was a reminder that a guy could treat me well. After going back home after the residential we talked a lot, every day, but when I made an effort to travel really far to his birthday, I found out he had told someone about everything I had said, and not in a nice way. According to this person, everything I had felt was one-sided. This was also how me and Heart A bonded. Now the person who told me about Heart C made me promise I wouldn’t repeat what she had said, and I hadn’t until the other night, in which I said I thought I could trust you with the stuff I told you in the summer, and he said you could. I in response said I obviously couldn’t, and he said I don’t know what you’re on about. So today, in my post gym gear, shit hair, shit makeup state saw him. And when I saw him all the thoughts I had came back. I have since messaged him saying do you want to meet for a drink? And if you don’t, please don’t reply? He currently hasn’t seen it, and thus this is what I’m waiting for. I really like Heart B, but not as much as Heart A and Heart C is just another story. He was the first guy that truly turned my head with my ex, but can I trust him? At first, when his friend told me about what he said, I thought he was just boasting. But now, just a little part of me is thinking maybe he told her in confidence because he was confused and she completely betrayed him, how is life so confusing? He still hasn’t seen it and my heart feel’s like it is beating 100mph. I’m so glad I have you journal, because I really needed to spill this to someone.