If it weren’t for my adorable cats, I seriously don’t know what would cheer me up. It’s been very sad, this pregnancy. I know I’m not alone in this but without Monty (baby daddy), it feels like everyone else doesn’t matter. I just don’t understand everything that’s happening. I know I deserve so much worse than this, but it’s still so hard. I’ll be a single mom, that’s the hardest pill I have to swallow. And I hate that we know we love each other, we’re just not growing in Christ when we’re together. But I mean, should I sacrifice son’s future for that? God first, I guess. Following God is harder than I thought.