Thoughtbook

So i’ve got this website since yesterday and i really, really like it.

Eh so, I can’t cope with any bullshit anymore. I’m just so tired of this all! Why can’t i be accepted for once? Whats the fuck is wrong with me? I mean i’m new in this city and yet i’m far from ever thinking of beeing happy 😐 why doe..

My friendship with my baby levyar is getting good again i’m so happy its worked out. I tbh couldnt’ve handel any more of breaking contact. I really miss her still doe!! 

My parents are still not together. 24/7 theres beef bout useless shit &its mostly all bout my mums famo.

I miss my sister. Shes still gone. Its been fucking two years and something! Doesn’t she care? I mean shes dead. Shes 21 now. Reminds me, i’m such a bad sister it breaks my heart knowing that i still don’t know where my brothers grave is. 

Am i ever gona be alright with guys doe? coz tbh I don’t get it. Realizing that i’ve always been someones secret as in going out and never been known as goodenough for one guy so far infact, never even been ‘enough’. Thats sad doe meh. Anyways i’ve only turned sixteen now so all that drama should be happening this year.

Its been a while that my selfhate/love has gotten abit better but its goin down atm again and I don’t know why but its really bugging me. I know that i won’t get anywhere in life if this selfhate don’t stop so erm yeah.

I’m sixteen, why do I only feel free when i’m alone yet so dep coz I’m mostly alone alone now. I really don’t know anymore. I’m just so lost and everything. I shouldn’t live how my parents want me to live doe i mean its my life not theirs. I think i’m gona end up screaming it into their face. So far i’ve been showing signals that i can do whatever the hell i want and it so far seems to work. Fuck knoes how it ends.

 

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