Day 14/ No hope for the future

Each day I am getting old.

Every day I feel horrible.

I don’t understand why I have to go through like this.

The idea I would need to be like for another years and years…

I don’t think I could do like this even another day.

I would give up everything what I have if I could stop this vicious circle.

I don’t have any unfinished business.

Why do I still have to be here?

So that I get another day of despair?

I want to stop the presence and just disappear…

 

4 thoughts on “Day 14/ No hope for the future”

  1. Miffy, everyone gets older everyday. There’s around 151,000 people that die every day, and more than twice that born per day.

    Since you keep mentioning death in your entries often, I recommend this book called: “How We Die” by Sherwin B. Nuland. It’s a book that goes over death. The author is a doctor who has witnessed thousands of deaths right in front of him in his lifetime.

    It is probably one of the most frightening book ever written. More frightening than any horror book by Stephen King, more frightening than any horror movie, or any roller coaster. It talks about death, and only death, in more than 400 pages. It is a frightening work, but there are a lot of lessons to learn from it.

  2. Miffy, you need to talk to your doctor about this hopelessness you feel. There are meds that can really and truly help. What else can help is to develop your relationship with Jesus Christ, who loves you and cares about everything you feel and experience. Let Him be your best friend. Talk to Him. He is real. He will always be there for you. Choose Life. Always. Blessings to you.

  3. HI Grace. Thank you for leaving comments. I had been on some medication for a little while before including Abilify. Nothing really worked for me. Now I am off on any. I don’t believe in meds now but I take some supplements for my mood swing.

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