03/15/2017 01:21 Over sensitive.

It is amazing how sensitive I have become lately. I think it is because of the birth control I am on now that everything seems to hit me on a deep personal level. I was having a fine night considering I had to go into work on my only day off. But then after my boyfriend picked me up to go home we were talking about some things I had done at the house that he and his roommate had noticed I had not done well. The first thing was that there was a chunk of pork I had cut up and put into a bag to marinade. I cut off the fat, which I was apparently not supposed to and it sat in the vinegar and lime juice based marinade for so long that it began to “cook” chemically. My boyfriend told me when he and his roommate opened the bag and saw it that his roommate asked if I had cooked it, to which he replied no. The roommate asked if he was sure to which my boyfriend replied, “She isn’t good at cooking, but she’s not bad enough to cook meat before marinating it.” The comment it’s self was spoken in my defense, and  I do know that I am not good at cooking I want to be but I’m not. Even though it was meant to defend me it cut me to the quick, it hurt so badly to hear someone actually say that I’m bad at cooking, especially someone I love so much I looked out the window the rest of the car ride. Then he continued to tell me his roommate was looking at the dishes I washed and asked if I did it in the dark, because I hadn’t gotten them clean. I know that yeah we all make mistakes and I know that I am more than my ability to do house hold chores but it made me feel completely and utterly useless. Then the last thing he told me about was how his roommate asked I not use his pots and pans anymore because I scratch them up too much. I felt useless, like I can’t cook, I can’t clean, I can’t do anything right. I am sitting here trying to tell myself that it shouldn’t hurt this bad, I shouldn’t want to cry over these comments and that all of these skills are easily fixed and advanced. But all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I have always thought I was good at home life skills but now I am realizing I am not good at them, I have just always been around people who were worse and now that I am around people who actually have skills, I am nothing compared to them. It is a little heart breaking, but I am trying to stay in good spirits because I know I’m being over sensitive, it’s just hard.

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