Spring break continues. I continue to do nothing but sleep at one in the morning, draw for hours, and scroll through Instagram for hours while listening to certain songs on repeat. I like LEMONSODA, on Ramune’s YouTube channel. It’s cute. It has Undertale sounds/references in it, and the video is kawaii-trippy.
I haven’t set foot outdoors since coming home Friday afternoon. Partly because the weather for the first two days was shit, partly because, well, there’s nowhere to go. This city is seriously lacking in places to go. I just have to accept that every-fucking-where in America is boring and bland, that’s all. Texas probably even more so, since everything is spread far out, too far to walk to, just because the state’s big and they can be.
I was talking to my friend JW last night. He randomly messaged me out of nowhere. You know how you sometimes get those weird vibes where you think someone might like like you but you also hate yourself for being so narcissistic because they probably don’t and you’re just imagining things? I’m paranoid, so I never trust my own judgment on anything. Especially not social things.
I miss school. Not the projects aspect of it. Just that feeling of walking around when there aren’t that many people and the hallways are shiny-bright and squeaky. I don’t know. School in Texas is even more stereotypical than I ever thought it could be. High school in America is stereotypical of all those cheap movies with twenty-year-old’s playing teenagers–the horrible cafeteria food, the loudness, the girls with too much confidence in their makeup skills, the huge jocks, the cliques. It’s nice, though. It’s very chill here.
I sound dead inside. I don’t understand why that is. I thought I should! add!! some!!!! exclamation points to make my internal monologue sound livelier, but it doesn’t work. I think I’m just too sluggish to sound sarcastic/constantly on the verge of having an emotional meltdown. I sound deadpan instead.
Good night. Even though I’ll probably go to bed at one again, and it’s not even ten yet.
I like this font.