Today is my first day

Today is my first day writing. Today is the first day I get to pour my heart out on my keyboard. I’m so depressed. I’m so sad. I can’t help it. I can’t stop being sad. It’s this overwhelming feeling that devours me until I fall into a deep sleep; until I am unconscious. I hate myself. I hate the way I look, I hate my anxiety, I hate my sadness, I hate how low my intelligence is compared to others my age. The only thing I hate in this world is myself. I don’t hate my family, my friends, my job, or my boyfriend. Just myself. I’m disgusted with myself and I try to fix it but nothing is working. Dieting, exercising, Zoloft, nothing is working. I can’t break this feeling and I’m starting to decay.

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