Call it what you will

So I accidentally skipped yesterday but the good news is I can go back and fill that in. I will probably fill the days that I skip in with a story or something interesting that happened to me.

So today wasn’t very eventful just because I skipped school (Don’t worry it was a half-day) because I was kind of down last night. I guess now is the time to tell y’all that I suffer with depression but I don’t actually know if I can call it depression because I haven’t been diagnosed with depression. All I know is ever since Tuesday November 21st I have been so beyond sad to the point where it is not safe. I don’t know how I am getting through it but one of the biggest changes in my life because of it is school. My motivation to do anything is nonexistent and that’s not okay when you take advanced classes in highschool.

I honestly miss writing (but I lack motivation for the reasons stated in the paragraph above) just because every day I used to write 1000 word blogs out of nothing and I will probably be able to start doing that again but it will take some time to get used to doing this every day. I am currently listening to very peaceful music in the dark while writing this just because that’s when I am able to think with the most peace in me. The downside about loving the night is I don’t tend to want to go to bed until late and I have to get up at 5:30 every morning so going to bed after 12 is not okay. Sometimes I like the feeling of being sleep deprived or super tired during the day because it puts me in the mindset that because I’m tired I must be doing something important to make me tired which makes me feel human and that gives me hope.

See guys, I am only 330 words into this and I am starting to lose myself. This is going to take some time to get used to again so please forgive me if I forget to write some days.

Well that is about all for today, I will continue to update y’all as I continue with my journey through life.


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