I’ve learned so much about myself and life these past 10 months. I’ve learned it’s okay to not be okay. I’ve learned how miserable it feels to be alone, but in the same aspect, I’ve realized how beautiful it is to accept that loneliness and to embrace it.
The most important lesson I’ve learned is what happiness truly is. It’s not something that comes from being in a relationship, or in my case – a marriage (an unhealthy one at that), and it’s not something that another person supplies for you. It comes from within. It comes from accepting your mistakes and flaws, but having the ability to recognize them and actively working on them, especially if they’re detrimental to your health and overall wellbeing. It means, for me personally, doing whatever the hell I want without someone’s cynicism dragging me down.
I’ve also realized a lot about relationships and what I’m willing to work for. I know my value and my worth, and I’m not willing to accept anything less. Will this mean I’ll be single for the next 10 years? Probably. I see a lot of men and women who seek validation through the opposite sex and it frustrates me mostly because I’ve been there and I know how damaging it can be. You don’t need someone to be happy, you just need to fulfilled by yourself, and let them be the icing on the cupcake.
It’s been a long damn journey and something I’m still working on, but I can finally say that I love the hell out of myself and I’m proud of what I’ve overcome.