WHAT IS A FEELING ANYWAY?

This is one of those glorious morning that I get to spend quietly drinking my coffee with no one screaming of fighting or making me feel like I am in their way…kind of mornings…I hope GOD lets me have my own place before…well you know????  LOL…   Anywho!!!  as you can tell I am feeling a bit better today than the last couple of days….giggle.   My friend has ask me to come and stay with her for a couple of days?  Now ordinarily I wouldn’t think twice about it…giggle…but my boo is there…and with the way I have been feeling towards him lately…LOL…IDK?  If it is a good idea for me to be that close to him…giggle…even tho I don’t think that there is much of a chance of anything happening between us…at least nothing more than has happened before?   Just some sultry looks and a few teasing jestures between us…if it did…it would shock the socks off me…because we still feel the awkwardness of just being together.   It is one thing on a screen…we can both fantasize…and make each other anything that we want the other to be? But in person and up close…tht is a  totally different story…it gets real then…I don’t see him a whole lot when I am there usually…because he does have a life…and he does work…LOL…and lets face it…I am not the center of his life….and that is okay…even tho I would like to be…it just anit that way. So as you can see I am a bit nervous about recouping at her house?   Besides she doesn’t need to take care of me…she has a husband to take care off…but I think she is missing someone that she can converse with…she keeps telling me she needs to talk?   I don’t know about what???? I hope bae hasn’t given us away somehow…that would just hurt her…and I don’t want to do that…not ever…but I can’t keep myself from loving the one person that she deems…very special.  He does good by his parents…and that is another quality that I love about him…how he is so good to those that he loves.   Because I have seen his sweet side…and it is wonderful…I have somewhat experienced his not so sweet side…when his anger shows up…and he hides mostly from me…when that happens?  I know that he doesn’t want to hurt me…but just like him…I can be temptramental sometimes…and I would never want to anger or hurt him in any way.   Because I love him…but I think when people know that you love them…they feel a little bit more safe…being their selves around you…and feel that they can say and do things to each other…and know that they would be forgiven for their actions or words.   The trick here I think…is to always apologize for your words or actions…and reassure that person that you love them afterwards…and that seems to be the hardest thing for people to do?  is to just say ” I was wrong…or I was a butt…forgive me”….I am a gentle creature by nature…I don’t like fighting or screaming…or yelling…or being sulky…if I have an disagreement with someone…I usually wait a couple of hours or days…depending on who  the person is that I had the disagreement with?  Then want to discuss it? And find out what not only they can do…but what I can do too…in order for us to avoid that again.   It takes two to work at a relationship…and what I have learned is…when you have two different dynamics working in one household…there needs to be some lines drawn in the sand…it is not fair for one person to expect the other to read their minds.   You have to communicate…you must get to know the others dynamics…how they see things…their love language…because not every one loves you the exact same way…Phils way was to buy me expensive gifts…after he…well did his thing to me…Curt his was to do things for me around the house…he was great at fixing things….and lets face it…a woman does find it very sexy when a man can fix things….LOL…I don’t know why that is…but ask any woman…and she will tell you…giggle…he doesn’t have to especially good at it…it is just the thought that he is capable and care enough to try…LOL…IDK???? 

   I just find that incredibly sexy for some reason.

  And I am sure that men (if they took the time to think about it…barring sexual acts) have their own little turn on that women do that excite them…or little things his woman does that he thinks are just incredibly cute…and adorable…and sexy.   I know when my guy looks at me and he has that smirky grin on his lips…like he has done something sneaky and gotten away with it…that I find endearing and so sweet…and sexy as all get out…I just want to grab him and????  Well you know.   Any way I had better get off here and finish the dishes…Dr. Oz will be on soon…giggle…hey!!!!  If I had something else to do???  I’d be doing it…giggles…so later tater…have a great day…SMOOCHES AND HUGS ALL ROUND.

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