March 20, 2017
Well, it’s that time of year when things are starting to get busy at my job. When things are busy, Mondays are always the worst. Mondays seem to be the day that all of the problems hit all at once. My aggravation level rises and of course the voices take advantage of this and they become stronger and more oppressive. Today was no exception to this trend. All morning I was very busy and starting to stress and I could hear the voices coming in over the noise of the heating system and vent right above my desk at work. They were hurling their usual trash talk at me. This is nothing new. My job these days causes me far more stress that they do, but I was noticing that I was hearing them at an increased level.
When I’m calmer, the voices are not nearly as strong. But, unfortunately, I can’t live in a bubble of calmness all of the time. That’s just not possible (though I wish that it were). When I got home from work, the voices were still a little more oppressive than usual. Primarily, I hear these voices as if they are originating external to me, but today I was also hearing them speaking in my mind, or hearing them more internal. I’ve experienced this numerous times before, but all in all, it has been less frequent in the past year. It was something that I was experiencing more back during the first six months of this situation back in 2015.
Well, I just took some sleep-aid and I’m about to turn in. I tried to rest for a bit after work earlier and I was experiencing the physical disturbances, mostly the vibration sensation. Most often, it starts around my legs and then moves around a bit. So, I’m expecting that I’ll have to deal with it again tonight. It would seem that the break that I got from it for a few nights last week is over. I still don’t know why “they” backed off from it a bit last week. But, now it would seem that they are back to their same old tricks again. I’m not going to let it bring me down. All in all, I’m feeling fine these days and I can honestly say that I’m way more troubled by Monday mornings at work than I am from these harassing entities.