I need to stop trying to gain all of my four older siblings approval of me, I hate to say this but I will never going to be what they all wanted me to be, no matter how hard I try or what directions they would point me because I do not think like they do.
Yes , I know I am different and I’m never going to change that no matter how many time they wish they could ” Normalized” Me, I heard one of my older siblings spewing shit about me having a ” Mental issue”, and it hurt me so much by hearing this all from them while talking behind my back .
I confront them a few time but they won’t say anything only a mumble, under the breath type or they all go to Mommy and complain to her.
Oh god, I am getting really emotional while typing all of this but I need to vent it out and journaling is my only therapeutic fixes.
I Do love them because they are my brothers and sisters but my respect for me has put me so guarded around them, sure I will watch their kids, or do what they ask me to do around the house, but my respect of them need to earn right now they got not even a penny from me .
I am posting all of this because one of my sblining call me ” Crazy” and i need to let it all out …. I WILL NOT LET IT BOTHER ME ANY MORE !!!!