I need to let it go !!!

I need to stop trying to gain all of my  four older siblings approval of me, I hate to say this but I will never going to be what they all wanted me to be, no matter how hard I try or what  directions they would point me because I do not think like they do. 

Yes ,  I know I am different  and  I’m never going to change that no matter how  many time they wish they could ” Normalized”  Me,  I heard  one of  my older siblings   spewing  shit  about me  having a ” Mental issue”,   and  it hurt me so much by hearing this  all from them  while  talking behind my back . 

I confront them a few time but  they won’t say anything only a mumble, under the breath type or  they all go to Mommy and complain to her. 

Oh god, I am getting really emotional while typing all of this but I need to vent it out and journaling is my only therapeutic fixes.

I  Do love them because they are my brothers and sisters  but my respect for me  has  put me  so guarded around them, sure I will  watch their kids, or  do what they ask me to  do  around  the house, but  my respect of them need to earn right now they got  not  even a penny  from  me . 

I am  posting  all of this because  one of my sblining  call me  ” Crazy” and  i need to  let it all out ….  I WILL NOT LET IT  BOTHER  ME ANY MORE !!!! 

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