3-23-17 – 9:04 am

Mood: Exhausted; Unfeeling; Lonely?

 

I have, admittedly just woke up, and have not even crawled my way far enough out of the haze yet to even really know how I’m doing or feeling today.   It’s just sort of cloudy. But, I once again found myself looking for someone to talk to, and therefore, I am writing, here, now, at this instant.

Side note: The Clarity that tends to come after writing about how one’s feeling is particularly amazing.  Just last night, after having written down my jumbled mess piece by piece, I was able to think more clearly, as if I had gotten the whole cluster out of my brain and into something physical, that I could look at, think through, feel all around it, and take my time with it.

 

That feeling of clarity, is actually WHY I am writing once more despite that fact that I have done absolutely nothing aside from sleep (Not well) since the previous time I wrote.

 

~~~Writing Pause.  Got a Shower, Got Dressed, Got Food, Came back~~~~~

Mood:

Listening To: Boite en Argent – Indila; Toxic – Brittney 

Eating: Key Lime Pie Yogurt 

 

This is what happens when you have nothing to write about.  You come up with something to write about.   God, I’m pathetic.  Why is THIS what it takes for me to get moving?

 

Anyway, I am not binding today, mostly due to that fact that I am still not out yet (Though I’d like to be) and my family would probably question if I started wearing my hoodie too often.  

(Explanation, since I am now aware that the average person would probably question what wearing a specific hoodie has to do with binding:   A good majority of my masculine fitting clothing has been stretched due to the fact that I wasn’t binding, and while it is still rather masculine-ish looking, even if I were to bind while wearing them, the fabric no longer hangs correctly.   So, I have a single piece of clothing that hasn’t been stretched out- A Unisex Hoodie with a Galaxy and Stars pattern on it.  (MY FAVORITE)  I refuse to wear it unless I am binding my chest, so that it won’t stretch out.    It’s also the ONLY thing I wear when I’m binding, since it’s the only thing that looks decent.  …I don’t bind very often…)

So… Uhm, I have a figure skating lesson today, and a workout planned… I really don’t want to attend, but I made the commitments to other people to be there as well, so I can’t easily skip it…

After that is apparently some theatre thing with a friend of my mother’s.  I’m not just yet sure if the friend will be in the play, or if she just purchased us tickets…

I apologize for the nearly illiterate nature of this letter, I’m not writing too formally, mainly since there is very little to write about.

Thanks for listening,

-<> 

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