Angry bird

I am feeling so angry today. I can’t seem to distance myself like I normally would and things that should not get to me, do.

The terrorist attack yesterday is already motivating racist / xenophobic discourse and this makes me so mad. It plays right into the hands of the bigots, and generates so much more hatred through them. What is happening to the world?

I am so on edge that I even get angry about stupid sexist comments on Reddit. I would normally just shrug it off, write it off to bored American teenagers trolling, but I can’t seem to be able to do this today.

Everything gets to me at the moment.

The worst of it is, even if Brexiters knew how much anxiety, stress and pain they have caused, they wouldn’t care and in some cases they would probably be quite pleased. I can’t wait to be in a position to leave this country, which I used to call home, and where I now feel so unwelcome.

I have tried the app I downloaded the other day, and used some of the relaxation techniques while sitting on the train. It did help a bit, I will try and keep it up and do a few minutes every day or at least most days.

My first session with the new program was good, and very intense. I think this cycle will seriously kick my backside! This is just what I need at the moment, it really helps me maintain an even-ish keel.

I am doing bench tonight, which is by far my weakest lift and the one I struggle the most with. My form is slowly getting better, but it still doesn’t feel “right”. My new program has a lot of volume, so I will get plenty of practice in.

I think I will try and join a powerlifting club when I come back from holiday after Easter. There is only one local to me but it sounds pretty good, I just hope they are still accepting new members.

As much as I like to train on my own, I wish I had someone to train with sometimes, to share ideas, encourage each other, or even just for a spot. It would be nice to get some competition training as well, and someone to attend a meet with.


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