3/23/17 – 10:58 pm

Feeling:  A Pleasant Bit of Nothingness.  

As in, there is nothing there, but not in an EMPTY way, just filled with nothingness.   I don’t pretend to be able to explain, or even able to understand it myself, to tell the truth

 

Listening to: Twenty One Pilots, (Assorted Music)

I am feeling surprisingly alright after such a full evening.  While I might not be particularly ‘good’, there is a gap in the clouds, and I can see some dull sunlight through it.   Or, perhaps, while I am still sort of drowning, I managed to get a gasp or two of air into my lungs, and for the time being, I am grateful for just this much.

 

I actually sang earlier, (although my singing voice is still as horrible as it used to be), and I didn’t feel self-conscious about it, even though my family could probably hear me from upstairs.  It seems almost weird to have this much confidence within me.  It’s because that’s so… unusual (uncommon?) for me, I guess, which makes me continuously question it, instead of just accepting that it’s here for the moment, and enjoying it.  No I have to worry about how long it will be here, and, more so, when it will be gone again.

 

I am now making a conscious decision to not let myself ruin this.  I will NOT let my worries squander this precious bit of time I have where I am feeling alright.  I KNOW that it will not last long, but I will not get down about it, and just enjoy it while it’s here.

I believe that’s all I have for the moment… Thanks for listening. 🙂

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