This Year Just Isn’t My Year

As the title says, this just isn’t my year. 
The day after christmas I got into a roll over accident with my husband. Granted, that was totally his fault for going 50 miles per hour through snow drifts, but thankfully we came out with just some bruising and muscle sores.
Then in January, after we had taken my mother in laws dog from her – as she was abusing him, the stress of being taken to the humane society and then to a possible new family and then back to us- he bit me. I had to get 13 stitches in my hand and he’s a good dog, but the abuse and mistreatment from her caused him to have a lot of issues we are trying to get around with him. 
Then in February, my husband lost his job and I have been working a lot of overtime to help us get by. He’s got one now and we will be doing just fine in a few weeks.
Then just recently my mother in law went into the hospital and yesterday she had some sort of episode that the doctors say she may have had a stroke and is now in ICU with breathing tubes and a feeding tube. She’s been sick for months due to a mass on one of her kidneys taking all the nutrients from her body and now it’s not looking so good.
To be honest, I can’t feel any sort of sympathy for her. I feel bad for my husband, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything for her. If you can live your life abusing an animal and be okay with that, you are nothing in my eyes. 
The prognosis is not good for her. They aren’t quite sure she will survive. So, If she passes away….that would mean me and my husband would have to take time off of work, which I don’t think his work would really accept as he just started…
All of this going on makes my anxiety and depression worse as I don’t do well in stressful areas and I am terrible at comforting anyone. Someone is upset or depressed I tend to stay away from them. I feel like a horrible person for not knowing how to react or what to do, but it’s too uncomfortable for me.
The only thing really helping me right now is the animals I have at home and the little kittens I am helping take care of along side my mama cat Baby. Which, I had a scare about today and I bawled my eyes out. 
I had given my cat Baby wet food and set it on a plate on the floor. The kittens, which are 4 weeks old today, didn’t show any interest in it before. Today, the tabby kitten, Missy, decided she wanted to start eating it. It wasn’t the Pate’ that you should start the kittens off with. It was the bits with gravy. 
OMG. She started wheezy meowing and choking. I grabbed her and started smacking her back and she coughed up the piece she had tried to eat. Needless to say, I put that up high for Baby to finish. I guess I’ll have to start giving the Pate’ sooner than I thought. 
Here’s hoping things go better….Goddess knows I need it.
Which reminds me that I need to start practicing my Wicca more. I’ve been slacking at it terribly.

4 thoughts on “This Year Just Isn’t My Year”

  1. Geez, so much going on at one time for you. I can understand why you wouldn’t feel anything towards your mother-in-law. I am also disgusted by animal abusers. It breaks my heart how people can do that. Hopefully your anxiety and life settles down soon.

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