I want to live, I want to be happy :-)

Right now fear is what is preventing me from being happy.  I’m in such a good position right now I could live a truely amazing life.

But I have been here before.  There was a time where everything felt perfect.  This moment was incredibly short lived, that beautiful moment came crashing down. 

I wish I had the answers, the solutions to which way my life is going.  It’s scary not knowing what the future holds. It’s torture waking up every day feeling as though everything you have built towards could crumble away. … and I will be left broken. 

Although I worry a lot my thinking has definitely changed in the last few months.   Whenever I used to feel down I used to pray that I would die.  I would beg to never wake up.  Now when I am crying into my pillow I beg for happiness.

I want to live life, I want to be happy 🙂

 

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