Realisation

 

I guess you could say that I am different. Truly to most people, I think that would be an insult but to me, it is something completely. I guess you can say that I am starting to see the power of being unique. So what I am starting to feel that in most places that I do not always fit in. However, that should mean a lot to me cause the truth is that all I have to do is find a place that is mine and no one else cares about. I always thought that it was the movies or the TVs that I escaped to which is why I got so obsessed with everything. Today for the first time I am wanting to change that statement. I have realised the thing that makes me happy is knowing the fact that I do not always have to be on my own or just be with my family. Because one thing that I have learnt from everything that I have read or watched is that everyone deserves to have somewhere they belong. For a long time I thought that it was something that was out of my reach, Well the truth is it was due to the fact that I really was not looking to be accepted. For years the easiest thing for me to do is never get too comfortable due to the fact that Life is so unpredictable and always in flux. Now I have realised that this realisation is not such a bad thing because the only place that I know where I will belong is away from all the places that I do not think that I do belong. I am young so I guess this expectation of life always going right for me is something that some people would regard as being naive but is that not how everyone starts out. Young people are meant to dream it is the thing that makes them so special to people well that is what I always got told. I am not saying that dreams that never come true because that is too sad to even try and make myself even try to believe that. The main thing that I think that is so special about the young people especially in this day and age that even everything that we do face we try to show the importance of dreams even though they are something which might never come true. As humans the one thing that everyone wants to believe in is hope. The day that we give up on hope is the day that we give up on trying to live. Dreams are what we make of it not to become too cliche. This is coming from someone who always looks on the dark side of everything due to the cards that I have been dealt. Not saying that my life is awful but that I expect that if something goes well then something will happen to make it go wrong. I guess that means that I have a strong belief in Karma. But through all the darkness that I face, I know that I will either learn something from the event or know that because of it I will be changed forever. That is another subject to approach and that is the constant fear of change. That is the one thing that I never understood the fear of change the main fear that we have is breaking the routine of the life that people have come accustomed to which means when that life or routine is changed then it means that something will be bad because of it. Well as someone who always looks on the negative of everything the one thing that I look forward to is change. For me doing the same thing because boring which is why I shy away from it except when it comes to my books or my films as that is something to me that will never go away or will never be something that is unexpected. I guess that is why I enjoy watching the films that I have already seen before because I know the ending and so, therefore, are not surprised. Yet the one joy I have at the moment is knowing that at 20 years old I have no idea how my life will turn out and for that I am eternally grateful. This means that my dreams could come true if I hope and that one day I will find that right place where for me is seen as home and the people who are there are regarded as my family. That for me is something to always dream and hope for.

Until next time

XOXO

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