This girl states that she will not have sex yet. But when’s the “yet”? What are the “yes”s and “no”s that affect one’s decision? What do I feel so compelled by my brain to say no when my heart is probably thinking yes? Is it because of what has been brainwashed into me, or do I really agree with the concepts of maintaining chastity and all? The thing is, I do know that I see the importance of abstinence, yet my stand is definitely not strictly sex after marriage either.
But where to draw the line then? When is waiting long enough? When am I “ready”? What is “ready” defined as? What’s trusting and loving someone? What is “love”? That, I think, is the toughest question of them all.
What if I actually want it now? What if I’m merely being stopped by societal expectations that the girl should be the one rejecting sex while the guy initiates? What if “Asian values” have been ingrained in me? But then again, there’s nothing wrong with following them, is there?
Just that idk the underlying concepts of such values haha. What do religions think? What do ethnic groups think? Right now, to me it’s like, you should value your chastity because it’s important, but then so why is it important? Not saying I don’t value it. Just why not lose my virginity now, while I’m not really at any disadvantage of being less experienced or what, because we’re technically both on an equal playing field. Supported by the internet. HAHAHA.
We all know it should be someone you feel secure with and love and trust, and I do say yes to all except that blinking question mark at “love”. Or at least while I not be there 100% yet, I think the trust and security are definitely progressing fine and are going to reach a stage I’m happy with. A lot of advice goes out to people who feel pressured to say yes, but what if I’m not in such a situation because he’ll totally be aware and cautious of not doing what I don’t want so the decision whether I want to is really mine to make?
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A lot of the arguments that support keeping one’s chastity are Christian beliefs I feel? At least that’s what the internet gives haha. But what if I don’t quite believe in a higher being like God being the one to control our fates and whether we meet the “right” one? Or like being in the state God created humans for each other or something…? Perhaps I’m quite misinformed.
I wish sex wasn’t such a taboo topic though. It’d actually be nice to have more than just one person to discuss it with. I like how we’re so honest and direct but I just wish the topic of morality and values and whatever wasn’t so hard to navigate.