Good nights rest

While I’m happy to get advice in my life about my writing, I started this account to help with my anxiety  problems. So as it is past midnight and nearly 1am I’m going to once again plead anyone for help ! 

So because of my anxiety I’ve developed insomnia and while I do go to bed late i really don’t have anywhere to be he next day, but even if I’ve got no school or work , the lack of sleep is dragging me down, once again my family is sick of my tiredness and I’m sick of the ‘you shouldn’t be so tired your too young’ speech.

so let me tell you what hell I go through every single night at the hours between 10 pm and 8am:

i poor my self a glass of water before bed, I make sure not to have any drink with sugar or caffeine 3 hours before I sleep. I go through my little  routine of making sure all my electronics are charging in they’re respective corners of the room, each on silent night mode.

im a person who likes to have a little white noise in the background when I sleep, I have since I was a baby, so I turn my televisions volume down and turn on ether a cooking show or a movie , always something happy and cheerful. Then slowly I fall asleep watching tv. 

Im asleep for only an hour or two before it starts. Instead of falling deep into sleep and staying asleep at night my brain starts  does something akin to a children’s show about reading. Weird  analogy ? I know but I’m loopy right now and it’s the best I can describe it, anyway my brain starts going through things I said or did that day, like if I ate ice cream or found a new video for a YouTube I like or played a computer game. My brain will pick a random word from my day. ‘ in today’s case it’s dragon from the video game’ and my brain will start subconsciously lacing this word with multiple ribbons of anxiety so suddenly that fun time I had racing on the back of a dragon turns to: ” oh god I can’t believe I had fun, that games dangerous, what if I actually start racing in real life and get arrested, that dragon could have eaten you, you could have broken a bone from the cliff you crashed into”.  None of it is rational but still the thoughts tear through my this web of sleep and cause me to awaken, shaky, alone and nevouse about something that could rationally never happen.

so an hour will pass, I’ll calm my self down and try again to go to sleep, only now I find myself tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable spot in my lumpy bed this consumes another hour before I pass out again.  A Two hour jump later I wake up and take a drink of water then go back to my quest for comfort on what feels like a potato sack at the time, even though my bed is actually comfy, my body refuses to  acknowledge this. Things repeat like this for the rest of the night till around 7:57 am when I wake up more twisted than a doorknob. 

 

I really need help, does anyone have advice or sleep tricks or at the very least their own tales about battles with late night struggles.?

 

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