The future

Do you ever get that feeling of the people you don’t particularly want to end up like? Everybody says you’re similar but they’re older than you and you just don’t want to wind up like them.

I want to be an actress, or an FBI agent, or a singer, something exciting but I chose the safe route, the safe options for my GCSEs. Now, why did I do that? Scared, I guess.

Everybody says it gets better but the future doesn’t look bright. It looks boring, lonely years without friends and love and happiness. Years stuck at a boring desk job. So what’s the point?

I kind of wanted to be a YouTuber for a while, I still do, when I’m older, but what’s the point. It won’t work out for me. I’m boring and I have no stories to tell and I’m not super creative, or funny.

I want to be everything all at once but I can’t because people will laugh when I tell them my goals, which even I know I’ll never achieve. I want to lead an exciting life. I only have one, and then it’s gone and I don’t want to waste it. But I will, knowing me.

I can’t stand the thought of my future being boring. The future should be something you look into with hope. Mine just looks bland, like everybody else’s.

Just scared, I guess.

One thought on “The future”

  1. Up until a month ago, when I looked at my future, all I could see was the present. Then I made one of the most terrifying decisions of my life. I moved out of my parents house and cut off all contact with them. The amount stuff I owned could fit in a college dorm closet. I finally started living with a friend and am now getting a job. By the time December roles around, I’ll be getting an apartment for myself. Keep in mind that when I moved out, I didn’t even know how to do my own laundry (I was never allowed to do the laundry). The point I’m trying to make is that you never know if you can do something until you try. My entire family told me it was a bad idea to move out. They told me I couldn’t do it and that I would be crawling back to them within a week. I haven’t taken a step in their direction yet and it’s been about six months. Sure, I’ve fallen on my butt a couple times. I’ve floundered and I have doubted myself every second of every day, but the important thing is to keep going. Remember that there are people out there who can give you a pat on the back and sometimes a good kick when you need it. Even if we’re on the internet, there’s someone out there to cheer you on. If you want to be an FBI agent, go for it. Kick some ass and save some lives. We’ve got your back

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