Entry the fifth

5 April 2017

It is a strange thing, that feeling or inability to move forward and take the necessary steps needed to achieve a thing. Particularly when you have the ability to take those steps in leaps and bounds. I know what I am capable of, I know that I can do the things I want to. I know these things. But I do not believe in myself, and this pulls me back, halts me in place. This internal dark cloud is a bane I could do without as it has hindered me for so very long. And the worst thing is that I know it is all in my mind. But my mind affects everything that I do.

There are times, sometimes, when I feel like I can fly and there are no limits. But then, I can feel this cyclopean shadow on the horizon making its way across the landscape of my dreams, darkening everything with its approach and bringing with it nothing but fear, doubt, and all those things that would conspire to bring me down. Yet, again, i know that it is all in my mind. I am tired of feeling this way.

Need to keep telling myself ‘yes I bloody well can’!

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