It has always been hard for me to accept my life and my choices; but I finally have. I am working on pursuing my dream, even with the understanding that I may not be approved for aid and I may have difficulty, at first, getting to my dream. I have acquired a lot of debt from my earlier years and from being irresponsible in those earlier years. I allowed a toxic relationship to come in between me and my future and I shouldn’t have. I allowed someone else to control my life, when it should have been me taking charge. I no longer want that for myself. So, I have decided to take charge of my life. Even just with trying I am full of joy. Even if they come back and say that I have to do more to acquire funding for school then so be it; but I am going to try as hard as I can to make this dream a reality and God willing it will come to fruition. God is my provider and I trust whole heartedly that He will take the reigns. I trust in Him, because He has done for me what no one else has and He has shown me love that no man has ever shown me.
I feel that a journal is true honesty. Honesty of feelings, desires, emotions, etc. I tend to do a lot of thinking and most of the time writing them down is what gives me great comfort; aside from giving it to God. I have come a long way mentally and emotionally. I don't expect you to understand me in any way; but simply to show that we all go through something. I know people will have things to say, mean and kind alike, that is fine. I still pray that those who read with mean things to say are blessed just as those who have nice things to say are blessed.