All I want is a smile , it that bad?

So I’m 19 and I’m probably to old to be complaining about this but hey it made me upset when I was 10 and   it’s still making me upset today. So in case no ones talked to me before or just doesnt know, I’m striving to become an artist, it’s been my career dream since I was 5 and at the age 19 it’s still going strong in my heart. I live for colors and blending, painting and sculpting. It’s my passion and drive, it’s a part of what makes me, me. 

My parents however see it as a  disease, sure they were happy with the cute little drawing when I was seven but secretly I think they thought back then that I’d grow out of my little ‘fantasy dream’ when I got older and now they just don’t seem to really understand my love for it, and to be honest I’m fine with that. I know that they won’t ever have the same veiw about art that I do and that’s ok….

but I’d like it if they’d at least pretend to be supportive… it hurts when I show them something I’ve done and the first thing they ask about is “and you did this instead of vacuuming, tsk” God it hurts so bad! I feel like I’ve been lied to, “I’ll support you no matter what you do”, “you can be anything you want to be” what a load of crap, it your a parent and reading this I hope you never say this things to your kids or atleast if you say them mean it!

i know I’m probably to old to be wanting for their approval but every now and then a little smile would be nice and maybe some constructive criticism anything but the look of uninterest and disappointment I get now.

just some support…

im just ranting now I know, but I needed to get this out of my head before I think about it too much and start crying again. I suppose that what set me off on this tonight was a fight with my mom. I wanted to start a new art project, one that acknowledges and  honors  the generations of humans from  the ‘greatest generation’ to the newest generation ‘generation alpha’ to do this project I wanted to learn a bit more about the generations, what were their strengths, weaknesses, what made them so special. So while I could research most I though why not get the information from someone who actually lived through one of the exotic eras  specifically  generation X.  I go to my mom and ask what it was like living when she was my age, she asks why and I tell her about my idea for the project and the look of just exaustion and unapproved hurt more then sitting on a angry hornet, I at that point I said never mind I’d look it up my self if it was so much of a big deal and we just had it out from there.

 

gotta say I’m really crest fallen, my one goal I want to achieve before I get to old and or die is to make people happy, I want people to smile when they see my work but so far I’ve only gotten frowns, gotta say it really hurt bad, kinda makes me want to stop trying, it hurts too much. Artists deal with critics all the time I know that I understand that. But all I want is a smile…. is that to much to ask for? 

2 thoughts on “All I want is a smile , it that bad?”

  1. Shadow, Sometimes parents just want to live out their dreams through their children. Other times parents do see the qualities in you like your smarts, and other potentials, and so they want to see you in college doing something they think is better for you, that they forget it’s your life now.
    Still, other times they just don’t see our potentials at all. My mother told me to just find a good working man to support me and hope for the best. Then when I tried going to school for nursing, she said, “Look at Zoe, she went to school to learn how to wipe ass”. That hurt as you can imagine, but I didn’t let it hold me back.
    My advice to you is to keep holding on to YOUR dreams. Don’t wait/rely on others for approval or to give you what you think you need from them to keep you motivated. You motivate yourself, and never give up until you see your dreams a reality. Good-luck hon.

  2. You are never too old to complain about anything. I am in my twenties now, and I completely understand how a small sign of parents’ approval would mean so much to me just a few years ago. My only advice here is to keep up the good work and keep trying to accomplish your dreams. Otherwise you will just wake up one day in your twenties, and resent your young self, or people who have not supported you.
    To increase your chances of success, make a plan for yourself! See what projects you can join/ make? What lessons can you take? Try to research, so you can come up with concrete ways to accomplish your goals. Be strong, and good luck.

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