It really has been a long time since i wrote an entry. I have had the urge to write for the last week or so but just haven’t managed to put time aside for it. So much has happened since i last sat down to write, maybe that’s one of the reasons i haven’t tried, i honestly wouldn’t know where to start. So I’ve decided not to try and bridge the gap and pretty much focus on the moment and current thoughts.
I recently purchased a book by Katie Piper called ‘Start your day with Katie’. Anybody that knows me knows the importance of positivity in my life. I find it hard to hold on to positive energy for many reasons but try to do so as much as i can. In the last few weeks my anxiety has been.. bad. Right now i don’t want to say more about that. Well, i bought this book as it consists of a positive quote for every day of the year. I love the idea of starting your day with a new positive quote. I love quotes! Lol
Anyway, the quote for the 3rd April is one of my favourites so far;
“Let others see in you the things you love most about yourself”
It really got me thinking! What do i love most about myself? For me generally, unfortunately it’s quite easy to focus on and highlight what i don’t like about myself. But the good things? I kind of found it hard at first but then i realised it’s because some of my ‘good’ qualities, i don’t necessarily see as good to possess. I hope I’m making some sort of sense lol. These are what i got from thinking about this quote through the day.
I have a good heart.. This is something I’ve been told numerous times by people close to me but it is also a fact i have hated at points in my life. When i was younger i was almost fragile, i would describe myself as one of those people that felt everything a little too much (very annoying). I felt pain that wasn’t even my own. Over the years and as I’ve matured i have built a shell around my heart as it has too many bruises already. I would like to think i don’t love easily, although in truth this is a little untrue. I guess as I’ve got older my love comes hand in hand with respect. If i don’t respect you then i can’t love you. It’s as simple as that. It goes for all my relationships, not only romantic ones.
I’m not judgemental.. I don’t care about where you come from, what you’ve done in your life or who you know. How much money you make is irrelevant. The only thing that really does matter to me is your heart. Where you’re coming from with your actions? I know people that have done stupid things, but if i get where your heart and intention is coming from then who the hell am i to judge you? I’m not god!
I give my all to people i love.. Again this is something i have struggled with over the years. There have been times that people have taken advantage of this fact, especially the younger me. Maybe they done that without realising? Let’s be real, people treat you the way you allow them to in the majority of circumstances. The older me is most defiantly not scared to say no. I try to put myself first, although i have to fight a lot of the time to do so. I’ve been told I’m selfish, that’s ok if anyone wants to think that, all i will say is don’t judge unless you’ve walked my journey.
I have strong morals.. My beliefs about what is right and wrong are pretty strong. I don’t impose these on others because that’s not me, but you will probably never see me stray from my morals. Things like, love and respect your parents, don’t steal, don’t neglect or inflict pain on animals or children, help the elderly, be polite etc
I see the best in people.. In my life there are people that have wronged me. Although perhaps not straight away because i have a fiery temper that is louder than malicious, but eventually i almost always try to understand where someone’s thoughts and intentions are that led to a specific action. Unfortunately some people are just dickheads! Others, i may not like the action but i get the intention/ thought process.
I give honest, selfless advice or none at all.. I’ve never understood people that manipulate to benefit themselves. I’ve found the worst kind of manipulators are those that come in the form of a concerned friend that is trying to advise you the right way. Fuck these people! I could never be like that! I say it how it is, what could possibly be wrong with helping someone avoid a situation by giving them what you have learnt. I always try to give real advice and leave it up to the person to take it or leave it.
Feel much better after putting that down on paper lol i forgot how good this feels!
Have a great day people 🙂