There’s this girl I know. She’s young and dumb and simply trying to figure life out at the moment. She constantly has messy and confusing feelings and emotions and just needs some way to throw them out in the open, to confront them. I suppose writing them online for strangers to judge and advise is a good way to try.
Right now she is having a problem. Emotionally. There’s this guy, she met, online. He’s great, charming, handsome and nice. She has chatted to him for a few days, and though their friendship is still new she suddenly is questioning her feelings towards him. She liked him originally no doubt, they Skyped multiple nights in a row, learning so much about each other, forgetting the world around them, talking for so long into the night they fall asleep on the call.
But he refused to a couple nights and now just texting has made her question herself and him. Without seeing his pleasantly distracting face or hearing his velvety soft accent she is wondering if he is as great as she first thought. She likes him yes but she may find him kind of annoying as well now. She just can’t figure out how when she talks to him face to face, or screen to screen, she is completely and utterly infatuated by him, but when it is purely texting she is so unsure. When with him she has an indescribable feeling or such joy and happiness and comfort but apart with only words on her phone she can’t clearly decipher her emotions.
She finds it hard to explain how she feels, being so new to this, but she is just unsure in a way. It’s hard to explain. When she hears her phone buzz she no longer gets the same excitement she once felt. And replying feels more of a chore than a fun chat.
Confusion is all that controls her mind at the moment. She doesn’t want to not like him but at the same time, does she?
Perhaps the friendship isn’t going to workout at all. Perhaps she is going to find this is a mistake and have to worry about hurting him or staying unhappily talking to him.
Or perhaps everything will work itself out, though that looks like the least likely at this moment.