Saturday April 15th

Anxiety is bad today. I feel sick at my stomach. I don’t really know why. I guess everything. I am still not fully locked down as a DOE employee. Once I have all of that taken care of it will be a huge relief. Once I have my school email and my health insurance and have set up my direct deposit- all of that stuff- I will feel much better. Once I get that stuff straightened out, I will be able to start trying to get my pay step increases. Once that is in place, all I will have to worry about is living through the summer on very little money. I signed up with those temp agencies thinking they would have me working every day, but I haven’t had so much as a phone call. I have my 2 expensive purses that I can sell on eBay if it comes to that. Those two purses would pay my rent for a month. I feel really scared right now. Very alone and scared.

Later that same day…

It’s 8:17pm now. I’ve made it through another day. I texted Bethany and asked her if she would talk to me today, but she texted back that she was at Keeneland.  

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