Catch up

Dear Cindy, 

It has been too long since my last entry and im sorry about that, but i come with good news i guess. Well, sort of. I’ll start with the negative…dad is jobless, he has been for about 3 months, maybe a little bit more and its taking its toll on mum, shes struggling and doesnt want to push him but its straining their relationship as for Michael, hes not doing so great. Its been constant hospital visits and we arent seeing much improvement, he’s also become distant, it sucks so bad but to the good part, i’ve found myself a job. The pay is decent and i can finally help out mum with bills and utilities, even spoil them abit. And a silverlining to dad losing his job is that he takes me to work, im being moved around all the time so its been helpful and from what i can see its given him a purpose rather than leaving him at home to feel bad about not having a job. 

As for Bobby he is preparing to become a father, i still cant believe it, he really deserves all the happiness, thinking back to when we were kids and all the shit we went through when mum and Michael got sick he knew exactly what was going on and still managed to shield me from the pain. Hes gonna be such a great dad and ive already started buying little things for my soon to be nephew. Yes, its a boy! I knew it was going to be a boy, i just had a feeling. Can you believe it? How far we’ve come? But.

Im scared Cindy, things with Michaels health is seriously not good, theyve given him two blood transfusions is less than a week and there hasnt been much progress his Haemoglobin is still less than half. I keep acting like its not a big deal, that hes going to get better so mum doesnt worrry but I dont know what i would do if i were to lose him, and by the way things are looking its a strong possibility we might.

I hate the unknown, i like preparing for things, i mean i once had an interview and i arrived 2 hours before, this is how prepared i like to be but its so hard, its like i know its coming but i dont know when or how
He doesnt deserve this, he loves life more than i ever will and its so unfair that he has to fight for his when i dont even want mine. But this is life..right? 

Hopefully the next time i write to you it will be with more good news.

Love you Cindy. Goodnight.

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