Well, hi there. I am writing my first entry. I really wanted some kind of diary to share my world and (probably) mostly vent to anyone that will “listen”. I don’t have many people in real life to talk to and I don’t want a paper journal at home that can be discovered /read by my husband, or anyone Most of my problems revolve around this ridiculous mistake of a married life I live in. I chose to get married almost 11 years not because I was in love, but because I got knocked up (not by choice) and had what seemed to be an awesome opportunity to financially provide for my new baby. I had to move out of state and we were to take over an established (30+ years) business. I thought, I’m not leaving the state with a BOYFRIEND and I need full access to the finances because I have someone to care for besides myself. I chose to marry him. Mind you I had refused his proposal on a few occasions before this happened What was I thinking!? The in-laws backed out of the contract so we moved back to our original home town and I was stuck in an unwanted marriage. Ugh, it’s such a long story. Eventually, I imagine all the details will be here, but for now that’s plenty. I want to say stuff about another HUGE complaint/trouble I live with, but I’ll create a new entry for that.
Introduction
Scruffysmom
I'm a 38 year old mother of two young boys. One which has ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder. They both have anger issues and the drama with them causes my panic attacks at times. I suffer from chronic pain, depression, and anxiety. I'm also in a loveless, miserable marriage. I want out, but find myself stuck for one reason or another. I KNOW I have options but I either refuse to do those or I'm too scared to make the jump. I have started this journal to release my stress and share my story. I'm not completely miserable ALL the time so hopefully I'll remember to write about the good moments too!
Hiya; welcome to Goodnight Journal,
I really hope it’ll help you with any troubles 🙂
I hope things get easier and I wish you luck.
But remember; your life is so important and if you aren’t happy you need to do what’s best for you. Good luck x
Sounds complex but I’m sure I’ll be reading more soon 🙂 you write a bit like myself and I’m guessing you’re prob my age too, some similarities there which is good. I think people write on these sites for advice and support; I know that’s why I’m here. Take care for now x
Thank you for the comments. Emzygirl, thank you. I know I need to make some moves and create a happier environment for myself. I’ve planned to several occasions, but the timing isn’t right for one reason or another. I find myself stuck yet again. I’m sure it’s my fault/choice/excuse and I am terrified of being alone and going through a divorce. Eventually, I believe I’ll find what it takes within myself, but for now I’m doing my best and making the best of where I am.
Hi moaningmini! I’ll have to read some of your posts since you say I write like you do. I just turned 38. I look forward to reading your ‘stuff’ and sharing more of mine. For now, I have to go to work. Hope your day is amazing.