Miss has gone to her dad’s for the holidays. This is nothing new. She has always gone to her dad’s at varying times for varying lengths but like every other time, I just feel suffocated by how alone I truly am. I have no one in my life for me. Sure, I have family and few friends but they all have their own lives and I feel like I can’t put my feelings onto them.

I went away over Easter weekend to be with friends and I left theirs feeling disappointed, saddened by a wasted trip and more alone than ever. I have spent a lot of time over the past 5 days crying. Crying because I miss my kid. Crying because I’m alone. Crying because I don’t want to feel everything so strongly. Crying because maybe I’m not doing as well as I would like to pretend. Crying because I want this life to be easier than it is…

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