by far, the worst part of battling depression is the response from individuals who don’t know where you are coming from. I want to scream at everyone who has ever told me to, “smile,” or “try talking to someone.” everyone is always trying to fix me. I don’t need fixing. I need someone to lie with me in bed and hold me until I can breathe. I need someone to hold my hand and trust me to fight this monster. I don’t need saved. I need someone willing to stand by my side as I fight my own battle.
I don’t know that I will ever be able to say I have won my battle. I will be fighting for the rest of my life. I make progress, regress, and progress again.
but I do I realize that sometimes it is okay if the most productive thing
I do all day is get up and make coffee.
to take on the battle, day by day, minute by minute, breath by breath…
this monster may be bigger and stronger and even smarter than me
but keeping it at bay isn’t impossible
sometimes we lose the battle
but we can win the war
I know this
but did you?