Society tells people to look around, bask in the ambience, engage in human conversations, and basically make love to the world. Instead, every day I choose to trudge around without a specific destination, eyes stuck to the ground and ears completely inaccessible due to the full volume of my iPod. I make it to class, stare at my phone for 2 hours and make it out of the lecture hall even before the person upfront dismisses the class.
The thing about depression is that it’s different for everyone. Sometimes you’re just out having a good time before your breath starts escaping in pants, chest burning and body perspiring. Sometimes, you’re laughing and laughing and laughing… And in a second, the sadness hits and you don’t know why. But you shrug it off and laugh anyways. Sometimes, it’s spending your 3 am with eyes wide open, swept up in toxic thoughts, and thinking of the indescribable. Sometimes, it’s not wanting to take a shower because every drop of water stings, and explaining the red floor stains would be much harder than you thought. Sometimes, it’s a process of eating and eating and eating… but still feeling empty. And sometimes, you could sleep a whole day just to wake up and sleep again. Because you’re still so goddamn tired.
The next time you’re about to say something to someone… Think again. The signs can be seen anywhere and everywhere if you look close enough. It could be it. It could be not. But being kind goes a long way. Stigmatizing troubled people with the classic “Attention whore” and “Attention-seeking”, not realizing that attention is exactly what they need. Different people demand different things in life and if attention is what some people lack and desperately craves for, why are they treated with such contempt? And what if it’s not attention they seek, what if it’s help? Pointing out people’s flaws have become such a pretentious yet trendy way of living that some people are willing to die or live in pain for the rest of their miserable lives rather than seeking medical assistance.