Thoughts

Sometimes I’m so lonely. I’m not a dramatic person by nature but sometimes I feel so apart from other people. They go about in groups, scrambling around me, busy with their lives, while I’m apart. I’ve always felt separate, apart from the group. At first I just took it that I was different but not really understanding why. Later I learned I was an INTJ and that while rare, I was not alone. And still I am apart. Sometimes I want so badly to have a close friend to do things with and to talk to. It has gotten harder since my mom died. I could always talk to her and feel understood. Sometimes I want so much to fit in but my mind/soul won’t let me be other than who I am, and I am different. Not enough to be outright excluded but never close enough to be asked to hang out one-to-one with someone. I think I make people uncomfortable but I can’t tell for sure. I am lonely, and perhaps always will be. But I cry to the dark…can you hear me?

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