“all about me”

YEP THAT S FUCKING RIGHT EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT ME–ALL THE TIME. 

 

im so sick of feeling like this. I just want to cry and go sit in my car somewhere. “its all about you” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. When has anything ever been about me. Let me tell you about all of the times I get jealous of my friends bc i wish i could be like them and cry to their moms when they’re feeling sad. I CANT FUCKING TELL YOU ANYTHING BC IM ALWAYS SO AFRAID THAT THE SLIGHTEST AMOUNT OF STRESS WILL MAKE YOU EXPLODE. You freak out over the tiniest little things and make such big deals out of nothing. You have enough problems so why put mine on you too. IT SUCKS. since age 5 Ive had to fight all of my own battles. Ive had to keep everything inside. Cry myself to sleep and 3am when I was sure you were asleep and wouldn’t hear me. Yeah you shout “i love you” before you leave. You send it to me in text, but I can’t even remotely remember the last time you gave me a kiss on the forehead, a hug, or even a pat on the back. You are the reason that I am afraid of commitment. You are the reason that I will probably never have a real relationship. I feel as tho if my own mother can’t show me love and affection–why should anyone else. So when people actually do, i get weirded out and tell them to stop. But hey–everything is about me and i guess it always will be.

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