I should be sleeping…

This seems to happen a lot, I need to sleep but I can’t quiet my thoughts. I know that I worry too much but I’m not sure how to control it.

At least tonight is legitimate. I always have trouble sleeping before Doctor appointments. I run conversations through my head trying to remember everything I need to explain.

I really like this Doctor because he was extremely knowledgeable about my shoulder but a comment in the paperwork he gave me to give to the surgeon stuck with me. “Examination displays a pleasant woman in no distress.” That’s only because I held myself together out of respect for him, he’s not there to be my therapist. He also never asked if I cried because of the pain. Tomorrow when I see him for my wrists I’ll need to make sure to tell him how hopeless it makes me feel.

I’m just afraid that he’s going to tell me that I have arthritis and there won’t be anything he can do. I always figured that I was doomed to get carpal tunnel because I am a drummer, I knit, I crochet, I draw, I paint, I play video games, I cross stitch, I write, and I work at a desk job. I never imagined arthritis but based on my symptoms that’s my best guess. I suppose we will find out soon enough. 

I shouldn’t think about this any more tonight, worrying will not change anything.

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