Subliminal

Glad he’s gone. I don’t get reminded so often how I’m a whore or that I’m useless  or that I’m disgusting and that if it weren’t for him I’d have nothing. Or some other bullshit about how he fucking saved me. Fuck that. He broke me. Called me names too often. Threw bullshit in my face. Caused problems and through the blame on me. Played me. Made me out to be the bad guy. Fuck him. I was there for him. He wasn’t there for me, not when I needed him to be not when I asked him to be. He’s selfish. I can’t wait for the day he sees me and I’m everything he’s ever wanted. And then I can look at him and be reminded he’s everything I’m glad I don’t have. He’s the best thing I never had. 

Too bad I still love him. 

One thought on “Subliminal”

  1. I totally get that…. I was married to a guy that was extremely abusive and its crazy how much you can still love them. I was always one of those ppl that thought “never me, im not weak, i dont put up with that” but the thing is…. it kinda sneaks up on you. Hes mean and you think “well, i am kind of a bitch, id do the same thing” or hes mean or hurtful and you think “i mean, hes right. I am useless, hes just frustrated bc im useless, i Can do be better for him” and then one day you look around and think “how did i get here?!” Its so easy to fall into when you love someone. Best of luck.

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